Archive for March, 2005

How many children?

If I could see into the future, how many children would I have? My husband has always dreamed of a large family of 6 children. I had always felt that our family would be complete with three littlies. So in the good name of “compromise” my husband also agreed that three would be a great number! That was of course until we discovered this thing called anaphylaxis.

When Declan started kindy last year, I was adamant that we had finished our breeding cycle. I was very reluctant to let him go, and was overwhelmed with anxiety. And this was only kindy, with 20 children in a very well supervised, and controlled environment. School is a very different story. I couldn’t foresee my stress levels subsiding so we decided that two wonderful children would complete our family.

I am not sure what has happened, but my maternal yearnings have started all over again. I have found myself looking at calendars trying to figure out the most suitable month to increase our family. I catch myself day dreaming about holding another new born, the little fingers and toes. The first kick felt, and that wonderful first smile.

I then start the “what if” game. What if Declan and Bianca have a reaction at school, and I am at an antenatal checkup? What if the new baby has countless more allergies than what we are used to now? What if the kids get anxious because they might perceive that I won’t be as “free” to help them if they are having a reaction? What if the baby has no allergies at all?

I have since decided that the “what if” game has infinite questions, and most of them don’t even relate to anaphylaxis.

How do you stop those strong desires to have another child? Should you stop them or even can you stop them?